Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Mood is a Choice

Here is the idea today: Do you realize the effect you have on the people around you?

I work with someone who seems miserable. I suspect the circumstances really have nothing to do with me, but are outside the work place. The problem spills over to the co-workers and effects all they encounter. I allow this to impact me more than I ever should. Nothing I do is ever good enough and they are able to find something wrong with my best efforts. I go out of my way to try to improve the relationship, but that is either not recognized or not appreciated. Everyday I need to work with them and its something I do not look forward to every time. I even take delight in relaying information that might upset them!

This morning a short conversation with them was completely different. I could sense a happiness in voice that has been missing for several months. For the first time in a long time we seemed to be on the same wavelength.

What amazes me was the effect hearing that had on my mood and attitude toward the person and for the day in general. I wonder if they felt as much relief as I did. Did they recognize my reaction? Did the conversation flow easier today for them as it did for me? Does my attitude to them have the same effect on their day? These things I do not know. But I do know that it's all so much better when the mood is positive.

What frustrates me about this is that I strongly believe most of this comes down to choice (whether we realize that or not). And that means this person is, probably subconsciously deciding to be miserable. Even though they'd probably rather not be miserable if they only realized it was a choice!

Maybe none of it is choice and it's all beyond our control determined by chance and chemicals! Perhaps some people just are not compatible.

There must be some kind of science or study to psychic wavelengths or something along those lines that explain how some people can communicate near flawlessly and understand each other so well, while other people cannot, just simply cannot no matter how much effort is put in. Maybe it depends on body chemistry and/or circumstances.  I suspect it is heavily influenced by your role and position in your family, like where you line up in your sibling's birth order if you have siblings at all. A few years ago I worked with a school bus aid on a route and we enjoyed this kind of communication and kind of had a theory mapped out about it. It'd be cool to find out if there really is this type of study.
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